Following her fifteenth meltdown of the year at the VMAs, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have been battling in court for custody of little Jayden and Sean Preston. K-Fed's lawyer, Britney's lawyer, and the lawyer for Brit's ex-bodyguard Tony Barretto (now a begrudging witness for K-Fed's camp) have all been in the media spotlight this week, using their clients for self-promotion. Everyone expected Britney to lose her kids going into the trial, given that she was dropped by another manager and lawyer amidst the allegations of "nudity, drug use and safety issues". But I think people were forgetting that Kevin isn't the picture of perfection either - far from it - and the court ruled that both parents will need to complete twice-weekly drug tests, remain sober around their kids, and attend parent counseling...together.

I keep getting this horrifying image of Britney and K-Fed sitting in a shrink's office together talking about their kids day after day until they bond over all that family stuff and fall back in love. For the sake of avoiding such a nightmare, I'd prefer to see them trashing each other publicly for the next ten years. Anyway, in preparation for the life-altering terms of their custody agreement to set in, Britney and Kevin have been busy squeezing in as much drug-induced partying and clubbing as possible. K-Fed might be banging Nicole Narain, while Britney has stooped to an all-time low and is rumored to be dating Nick. Freaking. Carter. Actually, I take back what I said earlier. Britney and Kevin should get back together. If Brit insists upon dating douchebags, she might as well date the one who is gonna help take care of her kids, right?

An even nastier custody battle is underway between Charlie Sheen & Denise Richards. Denise is asking for full custody of their two daughters due to Charlie's "inappropriate behavior" which includes "sexual explicitness on the Internet, "revealing his private parts", beating his dog, and yelling at his kids. Charlie has of course fired back that Denise "behaves as though she owns our children" and says "a day of legal reckoning for her is fast approaching." Oooooh, scary..."legal reckoning." Have to say, Denise's claims sound a little more credible. But for the sake of their kids, lets hope they're not!

Is there trouble in Posh's and Becks's L.A. paradise? The mistress from David's naughty 2004 affair - Rebecca Loos - is coming to L.A. to pursue acting. And Victoria is NOT happy about it. A friend of the couple tells Britain's Star Magazine, "Rebecca going to Los Angeles is Victoria's worst nightmare. One of the reasons the Beckham's moved there in the first place is because David felt like he owed Victoria after the whole Rebecca scandal." But according to the ex-mistress, Posh has more to worry about than just her: "there are plenty of gorgeous girls in Los Angeles. I don't know if David is going to be a good boy." Oh snap!

Introducing...Demi Kutcher! Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have been happily married for 2 years but Demi just recently made the full switch, adopting Ashton's last name on her driving license and credit cards. Hopefully Demi has not embraced the full "wife" status as a result of giving up on her acting career, though. The plastic surgery guru recently told media: "It's been a challenging few years, being the age I am. Almost to the point where I felt like, well, they don't know what to do with me. I am not 20. Not 30." She does have a point, but, perhaps if she were to allow herself to age naturally she could get parts intended for a woman her actual age - and play a mother or adult rather than just the sexy and young women she has been playing throughout her career???

Zanessa may be no more. On the heels of Vanessa Hudgens' nude picture scandal and legal charges of unpaid fees hurled by her attorney, the young vixen was seen at a party amidst heavy flirting with an older guy. Days later, Zac Efron returned from a month of promoting Hairspray overseas and the two were spotted looking quite...serious upon his return. Now word is they've split. This wouldn't be surprising - new fame tends to cause such things...but the REAL question is: were they ever really together in the first place...or was their "relationship" yet another fame-seeking publicity romance? (think TomKat) Moreover - and I hate to judge him on the basis of his perfectly gelled hair and very very pretty facial features - but is Zac Efron gay??

Hayden Panettiere has moved on from ex-boyfriend Stephen Colletti with none other than her Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia. The two were spotted getting cozy at an Emmy's after-party before going home together. Meanwhile, Stephen might have moved on too! He and old flame/co-star Lauren Conrad have been spotted together again, arousing suspicion that they could be giving their Laguna Beach romance another try.

In other Hills news, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt make me want to throw up. Truly. If I have to watch them act for the cameras, call each other sweetie, or delusionally question why Lauren doesn't like them anymore I think I will pull my hair out.

Meanwhile, Adrian Grenier and Paris Hilton are still pretending to be just friends, or, as Adrian called them, "mutual mentors." And I think we all know what he means when he says "mentor". Okay, okay, I'll admit it...I think they're kinda cute and that Adrian's words about "really liking her, genuinely" are totally sweet. Yuck, that's enough mush for one blog.

Jenny McCarthy was on the cover of People Magazine for a feature about her young autistic son and relationship with Jim Carrey. Although she's never been one to decline a little naked exploitation of her hotness, Jenny McCarthy has also shown herself to be a pretty solid lady with more going on upstairs than you would expect of a blonde bombshell who got her start on "Singled Out". She and Jim Carrey are still going strong and she talks to People about how inspiring Jim, aka. "the autism whisperer" has been for her son. It would not surprise me in the least if "inspiration" in the context of Jim Carrey looks more like "causing laughter"...and hey, why not, they say laughter is one of the best therapies around?

Finally, to close with the best and most important news ever - the Sex and the City movie has started filming! I can't tell you how overjoyed I am about this development. Too bad it is not going to be out until bloody MAY of 2008. Odd/interesting additions to the show include Charlotte's pregnancy and casting Jennifer Hudson to play Carrie Bradshaw's assistant. It will certainly be interesting to see if the movie manages to uphold the caliber and popularity of the t.v. series, won't it? I wonder what Carrie and Big will be like as a married couple. We've only ever seen Big as a single bachelor - seeing him be all relationshipy during season 6's finale was weird enough...but behaving like an actual HUSBAND?! Wow. This will be a site to see!

Angelina Jolie has been talking about her sex life. She recently told a British magazine that she has only slept with four men. FOUR. This severely challenges the view most people in the world have of Angelina Jolie. To us, she is an at-times bisexual seductress who publicly makes out with her brother, chews her lover's lip in the middle of the red carpet, and wears viles of his blood around her neck. News of Angie's sexual modesty comes, ironically, within days of another story about her sexual past - but this one is about how she played with knives during sex at age 14 because the sex alone "wasn't enough." But don't worry, Angie said she put her masochism behind her when she became a mother: "[motherhood] was the biggest change in my life and made me feel complete. I learned to accept responsibility for myself, my children and my partner."Well one thing's for certain with this one - ya sure can't call her boring.

Alicia Silverstone gets naked for vegetarian causes. Unfortunately, she also gets in trouble for it. Citing indecent nudity, Comcast Cable has pulled the plug on the PETA commercial which debuted in Houston and Dallas this Wednesday. Kind of a bummer for PETA and especially for Alicia who, sadly, would probably would have benefited even more from the ad than PETA. The actress, whose career has been lagging ever since the Clueless days, says what she loves most about vegetarianism is that "physically, the effect has been amazing."Physically, the effect has been amazing. Now watch the commercial and then try to repeat that line with a completely serious face.

O.J. Simpson is a f%$king retard. The guy gets acquitted in one of the world's most outrageous murder scandals EVER. And then, despite the knowledge that people all over the world despise him (and that the families of the two people he "probably" murdered spend every day plotting revenge), he writes the cocky book "If I Did It" which details the murders as if they are based in fiction. Finally, NOW, rather than tiptoeing around the legal system that so graciously bowed down to him 13 years ago, he has the audacity, greed and stupidity to march into a Las Vegas casino and steal freaking sports memorabilia??? And possibly kidnap someone?? And assault someone? With a deadly weapon??! The meathead's explanation for his behavior is that he was "only recovering items that had been illegally stolen from him."Ugh. Deeeeee- sgusting. Here's the good news though - there is a chance OJ really will end up back in jail - for life! Click here to read more about his charges for "11 offenses, including two counts of conspiracy to commit kidnapping with a deadly weapon, two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon and assault with a deadly weapon." Here's hoping!

Incriminating photos of champion boxer Oscar De La Hoya, or rather "Miss Oscar De La Hoya", have been flying around the internet since x17online published them on Wednesday. The boxer's lawyer has insisted that they are not real, stating that they must have been digitally altered and requesting that they be removed immediately. For the time being though, x17online stands by their photos. We'll have to see whether the authenticity or the fraudulence of the photos is proven first...

Kate Moss may have gotten rid of infamous party-aholic boyfriend Pete Doherty, but his partying influence has stayed intact. The supermodel has been hitting the party scene hard since their split, even getting so trashed at a party in London this week that her designer dress was torn in three places by the time she headed home. Good thing she is a fashion designer - Kate's dress actually looks like it could have been styled that way on purpose!

Hollywood has not been the same since Lindsay Lohan went back to rehab. The girl who rehab insiders say is "getting better every day" has finally admitted her problem with drugs and alcohol, started to eat again, and even made up with her dad. Despite all of the ridiculous press attention her father has been vying for, Lindsay has put her trust back in Michael Lohan. The two have grown so close that they attend AA meetings together and even pray together...for Britney Spears. Yes, Michael and Lindsay Lohan pray for Britney Spears. Lindsay is just flooded with inspiration these days and when she isn't praying for people, she writes song lyrics because when she gets out of rehab she is going to be a sober rockstar.

Tabloid redundant Kim Kardashian's ass is all over the gossip blogs again. She is still only famous for having a very, very large behind, her power hooligan attorney dad Robert Kardashian, and friends like Paris Hilton. But one of these days we will actually see the reality show she has been talking about forever - which will be "a peek inside her private family life" - a family that includes stepbrother Brody Jenner. As much as Brody is probably a total scumbag, I have to say, I wouldn't mind seeing more of his face on screen...

Kanye West can stop crying about losing "Male Artist of the Year" to Justin Timberlake now that he has won his album sales battle against rap rival 50 cent. After weeks of trumped-up hype that seemed more like a publicity stunt to boost both rapper's sales, Kanye's album "Graduation" has come out significantly ahead of 50 Cent's "Curtis". We probably won't catch video footage of 50 cent throwing a tantrum over his loss, but then again, we might not be seeing him at all. The east coast rapper told a hip-hop site this month he'll retire if he loses the battle: "If Kanye sells more records, I'll no longer write music. I'll write music and work with my other artists, but I won't put out anymore solo albums."Personally, I'm calling his bluff. What do you think?

Ratings were lower than usual last night for the 59^th Annual Creative Emmy Awards and the general consensus seems to be that the show was on the dull side (so no, Britney did not make an appearance) short of a few highlights. The best moment of the night was definitely Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert handing off Ricky Gervais' trophy to Steve Carell and then celebrating in a burst of man-hugs and high fives. But the night was probably most exciting and memorable for the nominees who were lucky enough to go home with a trophy under their arm. Check out our list of these happy recipients...

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series

Ricky Gervais - Extras

Tony Shalhoub - Monk -

Steve Carell - The Office -

Alec Baldwin - 30 Rock -

Charlie Sheen - Two And A Half Men -

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series

James Spader - Boston Legal -

Hugh Laurie - House -

Denis Leary - Rescue Me -

James Gandolfini - The Sopranos -

Kiefer Sutherland - 24 -

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Robert Duvall - Broken Trail -

Tom Selleck - Jesse Stone: Sea Change -

Jim Broadbent - Longford -

William H. Macy - Nightmares & Dreamscapes: From The Stories Of Stephen King -

Matthew Perry - The Ron Clark Story -

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series

Felicity HUffman - Desperate Housewives -

Julia Louis-Dreyfus - The New Adventures Of Old Christine -

Tina Fey - 30 Rock -

America Ferrera - Ugly Betty

Mary-Louise Parker - Weeds -

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series

Sally Field - Brothers & Sisters -

Kyra Sedgwick - The Closer -

Mariska Hargitay - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit -

Patricia Arquette - Medium -

Minnie Driver - The Riches

Edie Falco - The Sopranos

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Queen Latifah - Life Support -

Helen Mirren - Prime Suspect: The Final Act (Masterpiece Theatre) -

Mary-Louise Parker - The Robber Bride -

Debra Messing - The Starter Wife -

Gena Rowlands - What If God Were The Sun -

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series

Kevin Dillon - Entourage -

Jeremy Piven - Entourage -

Neil Patrick Harris - How I Met Your Mother -

Rainn Wilson - The Office -

Jon Cryer - Two And A Half Men -

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series

William Shatner - Boston Legal -

T.R. Knight - Grey's Anatomy -

Masi Oka - Heroes -

Michael Emerson - Lost -

Terry O'Quinn - Lost -

Michael Imperioli - The Sopranos -

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Thomas Haden Church - Broken Trail -

August Schellenberg - Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee -

Aidan Quinn - Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee -

Edward Asner - The Christmas Card -

Joe Mantegna - The Starter Wife -

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series

Jaime Pressly - My Name Is Earl -

Jenna Fischer - The Office -

Holland Taylor - Two And A Half Men -

Conchata Ferrell - Two And A Half Men -

Vanessa Williams - Ugly Betty -

Elizabeth Perkins - Weeds -

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series

Rachel Griffiths - Brothers & Sisters -

Katherine Heigl - Grey's Anatomy -

Chandra Wilson - Grey's Anatomy -

Sandra Oh - Grey's Anatomy -

Aida Turturro - The Sopranos -

Lorraine Bracco - The Sopranos -

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Greta Scacchi - Broken Trail -

Anna Paquin - Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee -

Samantha Morton - Longford -

Judy Davis - The Starter Wife -

Toni Collette - Tsunami, The Aftermath -