Jay-Z may have 99 problems, but winning over Glastonbury fans ain't one. The New York rapper, headlining the annual mud'n'music fest this past weekend, responded to comments by Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher (who famously said this spring, "I'm not having hip-hop at Glastonbury. It's wrong.") by, well, taking a page from the Brit rocker's music book. Strapping on a guitar wasn't the weapon of choice for Amy Winehouse; when an audience member grabbed at her beehive, the recently-hospitalized singer threw a punch. Her violent response was not sanctioned by Nelson Mandela, we're guessing, although he may have a soft spot for "Blake Incarcerated." And while Jennifer Aniston had her own personal paparazzi moment this weekend, when she was spotted snapping photos of her rocker boyfriend John Mayer performing in London on Saturday night, she was not the shutterbug who captured Winehouse's Glastonbury altercation on film. Let's hope that Beyonce passed along some sage advice to Winehouse while the two singers cheered from the VIP section during Jay-Z's set.

After six years of boring, steady dating, Beyonce and Jay-Z are supposedly tying the knot. Finally. The musical pair were legally wed yesterday after taking out a marriage license in upstate New York. An eye witness tells People:

"It was just the two of them. They were very polite and smiling as they filled out the paperwork. They were holding hands for a while. They looked really happy."

No word yet on an actual marriage proposal or an elaborate white wedding, which has to occur within the next 60 days for the marriage to be legit.

The lack of planning seems odd, given the buckload of money Bonnie and Clyde have to spend on this shiz.

Which got me thinking ... yesterday was April Fool's Day, people.

Could this be Beyonce's and Jay-Z's way of getting back at the media for all the false engagement and split rumors???