Young Ed Bloom: Sandra Templeton, I love you and I WILL marry you.

Amos Calloway: Tell me, Karl, have you ever heard the term "involuntary servitude"?
Karl: No.
Amos Calloway: "Unconscionable contract"?
Karl: Uh, nope.
Amos Calloway: Great!

Will Bloom: I know better than to argue romance with a French woman.

Will Bloom: We have to take Glenville to avoid the church traffic because the damn church people drive too slow.

Will Bloom: A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.

Senior Ed Bloom: I caught an uncatchable fish.

Amos Calloway: Her favorite flower is daffodils
Young Ed Bloom: Daffodils. [smiles]

Will Bloom: You become what you always were - a very big fish.

Young Ed Bloom: Your last name is different. You married.
Jenny: I was 18, he was 28. Turns out it was a big difference.

Senior Ed Bloom: [quoting his mother] "The milkman just dropped dead on the porch." Because see, my mother was banging the milkman.

Senior Ed Bloom: Tell me how it happens.
Will Bloom: How what happens?
Senior Ed Bloom: How I go.
Will Bloom: You mean you saw in the Eye? I dunno that story, Dad, you never told it to me.

Young Ed Bloom: There comes a point when any reasonable man will swallow his pride and admit he made a mistake. The truth is... I was never a reasonable man.

Senior Ed Bloom: Sometimes, the only way to catch an uncatchable woman is to offer her a wedding ring.

Amos Calloway: She likes music.
Young Ed Bloom: [smiles] Music. She likes music.

Norther Winslow: Roses are red. Violets are blue. I love Spectre.

Little Girl: He ate mah dawg.

Will Bloom: Church people drive too slow.

Will Bloom: Unbelievable.
Senior Ed Bloom: The story of my life.

Will Bloom: A man tells so many stories, that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.

Karl: Friend, what happened to your shoes?
Young Ed Bloom: [Looking down at his feet] They kinda got ahead of me.

Young Ed Bloom: It was that night I discovered that most things you consider evil or wicked are simply lonely, and lacking in the social niceties.

Young Ed Bloom: She said that the biggest fish in the river gets that way by never being caught.

Jenny: I loved a man who could never love me back. I was living in a fairytale.