Michelle: Did you sleep with Charlie the Tuna last night or do you need to douche?

Rebecca: [after realizing she needs to change her tampon] Why did the Blonde jump off a building? To she if her Maxipad had wings!

Jake: Touch my bass, Rebecca!

Officer Davis: What is that, a mattress?

Rebecca: Oh my God! I can not get last night out of my head. Richard! Richard and that little... wait, what was her name? Oh yeah... whore...

Madame Belly: What do I look like, a comedian?

Rebecca: How do I look?
Carrie: Like a summer flower that got rained on and stung by a bee.

Carrie: Babies are sticky.

Supermarket Cashier: Erv, can we get a price check please on the super size maxi pads for the woman who keeps bleeding all over the store?

Michelle: [while waxing a man] You a cyclist of just play for the other team?

Mary: So what are you gonna do with your life now?
Rebecca: Shoot up some heroin and become a sex slave.

Rebecca: Can you send a blue fucker on the rocks to that guy in the corner?

Rebecca: Well, my treasure is under construction right now.

Michelle: What you need to do is get your titties done like me. I might be hungry, but I look good.

Rebecca: Let me give you a tip: buy yourself a mango, cut it in half, practice.

Michelle: WORD!

Rebecca: The hardest love to learn is that which is dark, the kind that causes the most pain. It is up to the soul to look past that dirty love and regain the beauty that illuminated so bright before... pure love.